Becoming a Father and It's doubts...

By Anthony W Brooks

I am sitting next to my pregnant wife while she sleeps comfortably. She is 37 weeks pregnant and due to be delivered tomorrow. At this moment she is attached with tubes, monitors and IV ports which are tasked to keep her and the baby safe until they take the baby.
At this moment the baby only weighs 4.6 ibs and they are worried that he isn't growing enough... A little scary.

I have many doubts. Having a rocky relationship with my father isn't helpful, and the fact that he had a rocky relationship with his father isn't encouraging either. I know that sin is generational. I understand that certain tendencies can be carried throughout the generations and eventually become problematic to the point where that family name might end. And I don't want that for my child.

I did better than my father about mending that fence between us. He barely had that opportunity with his father. Dad and I actually get along decently well nowadays. But do I want that to be me and my son? No, definitely not. What do I have to do to make sure that doesn't happen? Well, that's the hard part... I need to study on that.

1. I desire to teach my son, which is something that I never had. I personally feel that teaching him the oracles of God will help us grow together. Just as well, they will lay a firm foundation for his personal growth and hopeful day of salvation.
2. Consistent parenting. My father was a good dad. He has his rough edges, but he was a loving man. One of those rough edges was his consistency. We could push him into saying yes to anything whether we had been good or not. I don't desire that for my son. One of the greatest things I could give him is consistency in my parenting with him.
3. My flaws. This is what worries me. I have flaws. I'm flawed. Because of generational sin, he could get those flaws as well... My list, my lying tongue, my anxiety... I could be raising another me! This is an issue for me. All I can do is pray that God will work mighty things with him according to his plan.

I know that these worries are a bit premature, but they have been at the forefront of my mind from the first day we knew he was coming. I don't want another me... I can't even handle myself, but whatever the case. Augustine Isaac Brooks will have a father that loves him; that will do his best to give him what he never had.

Soli Deo Gloria!